Better By a Mile

 In the days leading up to my 45th birthday, I fell into a funk.  For some reason, my mind kept reminding me of some of my worst birthday memories.  I know I've had many happy, fun birthdays surrounded by people who care deeply about me.  But I could only think about the darker ones.  It has been a minute (a little more than 1.8 million minutes, to be more exact) since I've written, so I thought it might be a good time to get back to it.  Maybe if I try hard and be intentional, I can remember some of the good times too. 6 I don't remember this one, but it's one of the few birthdays that I'm fortunate enough to have some pictures to look back on.  I'm wearing a He-Man birthday hat, unwrapping a variety of gifts that include a wrestling figure of Hillbilly Jim, my favorite Matchbox cars, and what appears to be a toy tommy gun.  I'm pretty sure one of those Matchbox cars is responsible for a scar on my poor sister's face.  According to my Mom, m...

My dad got sober in the early '90s after a particularly rough bender that nearly took his life.  Thankfully, he found the gift of recovery instead of what he was looking for that night.  I never really thought too much of his drinking when I was a kid.  Sure he'd get out of control at times, but that was normal to us. Soon after rehab, his temper actually got worse.  We didn't understand what he was struggling with.  I know he wanted to drink, but he was determined to stay sober.  He later told me that Alcoholism ran in our family and that I would likely come face-to-face with it myself someday.  The disease eventually took some of our family members, but I'm so grateful that my father died a sober man.  In my teenage years and early twenties, I considered myself a generally good person and did the things I thought I was supposed to do.  I worked hard, paid my bills, finished high school, went to college, and started a career. Lurking beneath...

As I sit here gratefully employed on this quiet Christmas Eve morning, I was reflecting on where I've been and what I've learned over the past 12 months.  I quit my job a year ago to pursue what I thought was a huge opportunity.  I enjoyed my old job and the people I worked with, but I had been approached several months earlier by a competitor with an intriguing proposition.  The new job was a big step up into a senior leadership position and a significant bump in pay.  The company was much larger globally, but a small player with a ton of growth potential here in the US.  They would also let me work remotely so we didn't have to move.  Over the course of several interviews, I had asked a ton of questions and done my due diligence to vet the company, its people, and the job, before making a decision.  Two weeks before Christmas, I submitted my notice and was promptly terminated for going to a competitor.  I expected that much and I didn't regret b...

June 14th, 1997 was a clear, sunny Saturday.  I would soon be thankful that.  It was also the day that I took my SAT test.  You know, the test that was supposed to help determine whether or not you could get into the college of your choosing.  Like almost any other test I've taken in my life, I obsessed too much about it and did plenty of cramming to prepare for it.  At the time, I lived just outside Sunbury, PA and the test was being held 20 miles away at a high school in Shamokin, PA.  Early that morning, my father and sister dropped me off and wished me luck. The test went ok.  It took several hours, but I got through it and ended up scoring high enough to get into most of the schools I was looking at.  After I finished, I wandered the halls of the school in search of a phone to call my sister to come pick me up.  When she answered, she told me that Dad was taking a nap.  I asked her to wake him up and see if he would let her...

I believe that God has His ways of encouraging us when we're following his lead.  Whether it be with plans "falling into place", from overwhelming support from friends and strangers, or being filled with a calming sense of peace, He lovingly pulls us along the right path.  On the other hand, I've experienced a great deal of stress, frustration, and futility in trying to forge my own path, especially when I'm doing it for the wrong reasons.  I wanted to conclude this third and final part of our family's transition by sharing some of the things, both big and small, that assured us we were making the right decisions. One of the first miracles was actually landing my new job.  Before I even applied though, it was amazing that my best friend had recently joined the same company and was able to give me his first-hand account of what it was like to work there.  Another miracle was the fact that we sold our home so quickly - in about a month.  We had a lot of "...

Soon after accepting a new job that required my family to relocate to Lancaster, PA, we began the process of selling our home and searching for a new one.  As we began the process of listing our home for sale, I instantly regretted my procrastination of the home improvement projects that my wife had been asking about for months.  Time and money now didn't allow for much more than a quick bathroom renovation and some light painting, but apparently it was enough.  We were very blessed to find a buyer within 3 weeks, which put our house hunting into overdrive. My best friend, Scott, and his wife allowed me to stay at their place so that I could start my new job until we were able to relocate to the area.  Their incredible generosity allowed me to focus on work during the day and spend the evenings house hunting.  Unfortunately, it also meant that my amazing wife would have to take care of the children on her own while also continuing to work three days a week....